GrAcIoUS UnCeRTaiNtY

I found this on a piece of note paper in the bathroom at work today.This little reading is so fitting of all that has happened in the last 24 hour in our house. I was able to show my son Aaron the power of God at work. I explained to him that things will be ok, not sure how, but they will. That our God is bigger than any problem we can put before Him. We need to learn to trust.

God came thru in a powerful way that there was no denying!!

The following is from Oswald Chambers ~ My Utmost for His Highest.



...it has not yet been revealed what we shall be.....1 John 3:2

Our natural inclination is to be precise- trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next-that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We think that we must reach some predetermined goal, but that is not the nature of the spiritual life. the nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty. Consequently, we do no put down roots.

Our common sense says. "Well, what if I were in that circumstance?" We cannot presume to see ourselves in any circumstance in which we have never been.

Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life- gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises. When we become simply a promoter or a defender of a particular belief, something within us dies. That is not believing God- it is only believing our belief about Him.

Jesus said, "...unless you...become as little children..." Matt 18:3 The spiritual life is the life of a child.

We are not uncertain of God, just uncertain of what He is going to do next. If our certainty is only in our beliefs, we develop a sense of self-righteousness, become overly critical, and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled, But when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy.

Jesus said "...beliieve also in Me." John 14:1, not, "Believe certain things about Me."


Leave everything to Him, and it will be glorious and graciously uncertain how He will come in, but you can be certain that He will come. Remain faithful to Him.

To bLog or NoT to BLoG?

I have come to the realization that I am just not a blogger like so many others are. I don't have the flow of words or thoughts that others might enjoy reading. My thoughts are often broken up and random. I have also come to the realization that it's ok!

Some people blog to teach, to entertain, to share wisdom. I blog because it gives me a place to release. I journal the same way. My paper journals are not consistent or regular. If someone were to read them, they would think that I was either very happy or very sad. The in between days just don't get mentioned.

You know what~ THAT'S OK!! My journal or blogs are not meant to be read by the public, or by my friends, or even my spouse. They are needed moments of venting. Letting out what ever is in my heart or head at the time.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy reading a good blog, and have a couple that I follow on a semi regular basis. Those folks blog well, and deserve a following. I don't.

Ok, that been said, that's enough for now.

See what I mean!

~LeT Me pUt JeSuS iN ThE MiDDle Of It~

I had a neat encounter with a woman yesterday that was very encouraging. Her name is Wendy, and she is in my BSF class. She is an African American, with this incredible speaking voice, that just demands attention. When she gets on her soap box, there are heads turning to hear what she is saying. Even if you don't agree with what she has to say, you stop and listen. Her voice reminds me of someone, but I can't think of who. I want to say John Moore, but I don't think that is it.

So she was sharing something in our discussion, and she said that she likes to sing. That while she is singing, she likes to stop and talk to people about Jesus. She said that she would like to get a group of women together that she can tell about Jesus, helping them grow in their faith. i could just see her doing that~! Singing in what i imagine is a beautiful voice, and stopping to preach a little, then back to singing. I shouted out that i wanted to be part of that group~~

All this got me to thinking about how I can do what I love, and share Jesus in it. I love to run, I love to ride, and I love to encourage other women to do that same. To be healthy. To enjoy their bodies, and push them selves. I have'nt figured out how to put Jesus in the middle of all that, but I'm working on it. Yes I am~

Father, I need some Holy Spirit creativity here!~ You know that I am not the most creative, but I would like to be. I wish that idea's just flowed out of me, like the song must flow out of Wendy! I'm serious about wanting to hear her sing! I know she would just blow one's socks off! Put her and Christina Jones together......Whoa~Praise the Lord~~ there are two women that belt it out~~

So, Father God~ I have a busy next few weeks coming up. Humble me unto you! Bring me to my knees (and speaking of knees, how about the pain I've got going on here......ouch! Healing please!) and fill me with ideas of how to share your glory with other women. My desire to have a group of women that start a workout in prayer, that take a prayer break like they would a water break. That fellowship like the chainringers do!! Why do men get to have all the fun! Not fair~I want you in the middle of all that I do~ ALL!! Show me your desire for me, lend me the strength and courage of the Holy Spirit~ the comforter that you sent to us when you took your son back to heaven with you~ so that we would not be afraid, that we would have comfort, so that we would be brave and creative~

Yes, I will work on it too, I will listen for your voice, I will listen to my heart~ just as Joseph, Nicodemas, and Thomas did. I will get mixed up in your plan and be honored to do so!!

In Your Grip~

tonie

Just found out......

That the woman that sold me our car insurance, that I have had with the same company since 1979, and whom I have four cars on a policy with, has cancer.

I have never met her face to face. I have spoken with her on the phone many times over the years, and each time we spend more time chatting about life than anything else. I can say that Bev is a genuine friend. One that has always been there for me to answer any questions, and has worked to find solutions to my problems whenever I have called complaining. Always willing to go the extra step. She is why I continue my coverage where I do.

When her agent told me this today, I was shocked. When she told me that Bev would not be in the office any more, I assumed it was because she was retiring. She must be older than me by 10 years or more. I just figured it was time. When she told me she would not be in the office, I said to her "oh, I knew that was coming", referring to retirement. Not because of cancer. I had no idea.

I also had no idea that she considered me her friend. When Candace told me that Bev was not telling many people, but that she considered me a friend, and wanted me to know, I was deeply touched. Deeply!!

I'm not an easy person to like. Or should I say it more realistically in that I'm hard to like, because I'm really not very social. Or maybe it's more that I tend to be hard to like, because I don't like to be around. Well, for what ever reason, I don't have a lot of friends. So to have someone tell me that I'm considered their friend, someone that I only talk to two or three times a year if that, was very touching. Then to find out that person is sick, that took me back a bit.

I have a great desire to meet face to face with Bev, and tell her just that. To hold her hand, or rub her feet just because she is my friend. To see her face, and tell her how much it means to me that she considers me her friend.

I will make that call, and talk to Candace, and ask her if I can come and see Bev. To look into the eyes of my friend, and to let her know that I care. One simple act of kindness on my part for the simplest act of kindness on her part, that meant so much to me!!


Love you Bev!!

I'm back here to stay~

So, look how long it's been since I last posted. I'm abandoning my old blog because it's too hard to find most of the time. That, and since I mostly use only a gmail account, I can't link the old one to FB because it's a yahoo. Or so I think. Either way, here is where I will now post.

Lately, I have so not be balancing my life with things that I know I should be focused on, and all other things. Yes, my spiritual life has sort of fallen short of the mark. I really miss my friend Andrea, as she in her simple way kept me accountable. Just in that her life is Christ focused. She may be hard to work with, and somewhat of a moodster, but she knows her place and where God is in that for her.

I have been really focused on running. It's an honest thing, and does give me time to pray and spend time with God. If I choose to do that, or if I'm running alone. That in itself is a problem. I've joined a running group, and that 'alone' thing is less than I want it to be. I do enjoy the company and the companionship but it draws me away. I need to find a way to focus and have friends.

I got this really crazy FB post a couple of weeks ago, from someone that is a christian cyclist. He invited me to be a part of the group. I joined the group online, so now I get all their emails, but haven't been on a ride with them yet. Need to do that.

So, don't really have much to say tonight, so will sign off.

tonie